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CLASS is a jam-packed two-act bitter-sweet comedy revolving around NIGEL, owner of a down and out strip-joint, Class.

Nigel’s whole life is a lie. His partner, ELISE, believes Nigel owns The Holly, London’s most prestigious art restaurant. Nigel’s best mate, OLIVIER, who really does own The Holly, believes Nigel runs a string of celebrity bistros, selling nothing more taboo than Taboo and lemonade. It isn’t until Elise commissions artwork from The Holly that a string of untruths are unravelled through the lives of Nigel’s five strippers.

Will MERRY, a middle class art student who works shifts in The Holly by day and at Class by night, blow Nigel’s cover? After all, she works for both Olivier and Nigel. Or could it be a heady cocktail of his other strippers? Working class single mother, LYNDA, cleans Nigel and Elise’s house for extra cash each week and has plenty to talk about. ANIA’s brother and his friend are building Elise’s extension, struggling to make enough money to send back to Poland. And KELLY and STACEY, the comic Ayia Napa slappers will give everyone a run for their money.

To be fair, it’s not only Nigel that is telling lies and the girls are making a mint out of the subsequent cash bribes. But before Nigel has a chance to come clean, he is beaten up by Ania’s brother and friend for getting Ania in the family way.

It takes all of Nigel’s acquaintances at his hospital bedside, to get to the bottom of everything and expose his relationship with Elise for what it really is. And we also get to the bottom of what ‘class’ means. At least for these people.

Not suitable for children. General adult themes. No nudity. Some swearing.

Dramatis Personae
 

Nigel	In his thirties, a very down to earth man, madly in love with Elise.
Elise	Attractive 30 year old lady with an intimidating wardrobe and an air of sophistication bordering on superciliousness.
Olivier Mariotte	Charismatic and flamboyant French restaurant owner in his thirties, who loves both himself and womanising.
Meredith (Merry)	Attractive art graduate in her twenties, slightly posh and aloof but bohemian and completely away with the fairies.
Lynda	Single mother of 33, who has certainly lived but is bitter with her lot in life and paranoid of ageing and losing her good looks, which are fading.
Kelly & Stacey	Late teens/early twenties who are best friends but constantly bicker. Both are fickle, shallow and self-obsessed.
Ania	Attractive Polish girl in her twenties with a strong sense of family. She is a closed book in public but is passionate and feisty amongst friends and family.
Marek	Short and stocky Polish builder (20s-30s), who works hard, plays hard and is fiercely proud and perhaps overly protective of his family.
Tomasz	Gentle, handsome and well built Polish builder (20s-30s), loyal to his friends and family. He is sensitive and dreams a lot.

All characters and organisations are fictitious and any resemblance to real people (alive or dead) or organisations is purely coincidental.

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